Wednesday, November 17, 2010

413 days: stepping away

We had the home visit to update our home study and after talking with the social worker, we've decided to step away from adoption for the moment. Not take it off the table completely or anything, just take a break.

There are a few things that led to this decision.

We had a possible situation recently that I didn't post about. I wanted to wait and talk to the birthmom about everything before I even mentioned it on here. Sadly, it's a no-go and our thoughts and prayers are with her.

However, that situation made us pause and think some things through.

From as far as we can figure, we believe she was due around the same time as me. That made us hesitant to move forward with it because there's no way I could travel out of state at the end of my pregnancy or shortly after giving birth (most likely by c-section, no less). I don't know the laws of her state, but some require that you stay in state with the adopted child for a certain period of time. This would have meant living in a hotel room with a toddler and two newborns after basically having abdominal surgery. Can you imagine?

Also, everyone says going from one child to two is the hardest. Neal is worried about how I will handle the transition and wants to make sure we are all adjusted to that change before adding another baby to our family.

So, we made the decision to put everything on hold. If someone were to call within the next couple of months with a newborn ready to be picked up, I think we might still consider it. But otherwise, I think we are going to just take a break from worrying about it, prepare for this baby's arrival and take time to settle into that.

The money from the fundraiser will continue to sit and earn interest and we'll revisit adoption in a year or so. If for some reason we decide two children are enough, we'll find some adoption-related organization or adoptive family to donate it to.

I am so, so grateful for... well, everything in my life. My daily "problems" are nothing compared to what so many others are dealing with and while I've known this for a long time, it became exceptionally clear today when my dad and I volunteered to help search for three missing people near where we live.

If you are in Ohio and can spare the time, please go volunteer. It's been a week since anyone has heard anything from them and everyone is starting to fear the worse. They need more people to help search the woods/lakes for clues. I hope to go back again this weekend if my nausea/exhaustion holds off as it did today.

Here's a link to the Facebook page they have set up with details about volunteering and a map about where has already been searched:

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