Thursday, October 7, 2010

372 days: Big news!

The one year anniversary of us being approached about the first adoption situation has passed. It feels like ages ago that all of that happened. Actually, sometimes it feels like it didn't happen at all. Sometimes I imagine what life would have been like if the birthmom hadn't changed her mind. We'd have a 16-month-old and a just-turned-1-year-old. Life would be insane, that's for sure.

One good thing about that situation not working out was that it made us aware that we were definitely ready for more kids - sooner rather than later.

See, the thing is, even though I don't talk about religion much or go to church, I feel like I have a very close relationship with God. I believe that He knows our hearts and what we want and what's best for us.

That being said, I also know that he won't (can't) do all of the work for you. What's that saying? Something along the lines of "You can't pray to God to win the lottery without buying lottery tickets."

The only reason I have been so zen about how we are handling the private adoption process is because I'm turning it over to Him. We have done everything that we can do within our comfort zone to make it happen and I fully believe that if/when the time is right, we will cross paths with the right birthfamily.

While we are waiting and hoping for those paths to cross... we decided to start trying to get pregnant again.

Thanks to Metformin, my PCOS is under control and we had gotten good news about Neal's sperm. My OB said he thought we may even be able to get pregnant on our own so we decided to start trying.

And trying.

And trying.

After six months of that, we went back to the OB and let him know that I was ovulating but we still weren't pregnant. He suggested that for the next cycle, we try an IUI (where they inject the sperm directly into your uterus). We agreed because it is a very simple procedure and since I was ovulating we wouldn't even need any medications, which I really wanted to avoid.

And it worked on the first try.

I'm due on Kasen's 2nd birthday.

The lottery ticket analogy? That's kind of how I feel about us trying to get pregnant again and adopting at the same time. We can't pray that we'll have more kids if we don't do something to make it a possibility. We're not going to get pregnant on our own and adopting doesn't just happen over night. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with having multiple irons in the fire, so to speak. Though I know some agencies will not let you adopt if you are trying to get pregnant/are pregnant/just had a baby because they think it somehow means that you aren't in it 100% or don't want the adopted baby as much or something. I assure you - we could not feel any differently.

What does this mean for the adoption? Nothing. If someone called us right now and told us to come to the hospital, we'd be in the car in a flash - with a quick stop at the store to pick up newborn diapers.

After the negative comments we got in the newspaper about our adoption fundraiser, I also know that some will think we are evil for trying both at the same time or that we don't truly want to adopt. There's nothing I can say to change their minds, so I won't bother. I know how we feel and that's all that truly matters.

I also know this fuels the "adopt and you'll get pregnant!" myth. There have been studies done that show that the number of people who get pregnant after adoption is no different from the normal amount of pregnancies in the population. If all it took to get pregnant was to adopt, there would be thousands of more pregnancies each year. Infertility is a medical condition - it's not wished away by relaxing or adopting or taking cough syrup any more than any other disease is.

We feel incredibly blessed and beyond lucky to be pregnant again. I was very nervous about announcing it on Facebook and on here because I know that this news may cause some hurt for some people. I hate that and pray that anyone who is waiting to adopt or trying to get pregnant can find some ounce of hope in our story and not just pain for themselves. Trust me - I understand because I have been there.


3 more days to enter the giveaway! There are still items that haven't even been called for yet so you have a very good chance at winning!!!

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